Lessons from Loss

davidearlestevens
1 day ago
3 min read

Updated: 24 hours ago

Today, November 28, 2025, marks twenty-one years since the death of our first-born son, Jonathan. As for any suffering in life, I'm learning—ever so gradually!—that the pain of loss is lessened as new lessons are learned from the loss.

Martin Luther once said, "There are only two days on my calendar: Today and that Day!" Since Jonathan's death, I've come to realize in a deeper way that the certainty of "that Day" must influence how I live today. My son's premature death has made me far more aware of my inevitable death, as well as of the promise of what lies beyond. Moreover, his present life in heaven with Christ inspires me to live my present life on earth for Christ.

Yes, the reality of "that Day" reminds me of the brevity of today. This perspective has begun to gradually, but radically, transform how I view suffering. Reflecting on the transient character of our earthly existence, Moses prays, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" (Psalm 90:12). He even tells us how to number our days when he says to God, "For you, a thousand years are as a passing day, as brief as a few night hours" (v. 4; cf 2 Peter 3:8).

Presently, the average global life expectancy is 72.6 years. I'll reach that landmark next year! But if a thousand years were a day, then one year would be a mere 86.4 seconds. Given this calculation, the average lifespan is approximately one hour and forty-five minutes—the length of a soccer game or a movie at the theater.

As for nearly all tombstones, Jonathan's includes his date of birth (January 28, 1982) and date of death (November 28, 2004). But between the two is a dash, representing the brevity of his life . . . as well as of yours and mine. The dash reminds me that as Christ followers, we will have two opportunities to live on this earth. The first opportunity is now—this short, fleeting life. It's like the "dash" between our date of birth and death. It is brief. It begins, it ends. But the second opportunity will be in the future—in the promised new heavens and new earth that will have no end (Revelation 21:1). We now live in the "dash," but if we're wise and learn to "number our days," we'll live in view of eternity.

Such an eternal perspective reminds us that this present life is not only short, it matters. This life matters, not because it is the only life we have, but because it is the dress rehearsal for the next. God is preparing heaven for us. But he is also preparing us for heaven. "For our light and momentary troubles," writes the Apostle Paul, "are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (2 Corinthians 4:17). Such a perspective empowers us to view all the suffering in the wilderness of this world in view of the wonders of the world to come. It teaches us to "weigh" our sorrows rather than to "waste" our sorrows. As G. Campbell Morgan writes: "Affliction is not something to be endured in order to reach glory. It is the very process which creates the glory."

Imagine an analytical balance with a weighing pan suspended from each arm of the scales. In one plate we place our "troubles," such as the loss of a loved one, a financial crisis, sexual abuse as a child, or persecution because of your faith. At times these feel like a lethal weight, leading us to the brink of losing heart. Given the heavy burden of these trials, the plate of the balance forcefully drops to the ground.

In the other plate, however, we place the "glory" of all that God promises to those who lean upon Him in their limp. Glory refers to the unimaginably brilliant, dazzling display of God's character reflected in his family members. In the Hebrew language, "weight" and "glory" come from the same term. Such glory is heavy in significance, whereas our afflictions are light in comparison. Such promised glory is eternal, whereas our present suffering is momentary. The promised glory does not merely tip the scales, it completely counterbalances the scales! Yes, for those who live in the light of "that Day," all the passing burdens of this life that feel like a lethal weight will become weightless in comparison with the glory that will last forever!